one in three

One in three women will experience domestic violence in their life time. That's 33%. Thirty freaking three percent. That's ridiculous.

That means, if you're sitting in a room with your sister, your mother, and your grandmother, statistically one of them will or have experienced domestic violence. That puts it into perspective. We can all say we don't know someone who has experienced domestic violence, but I think we know that's a myth.

Many women experience violence from spouses and loved ones, it's about whether they speak up or not. Women who don't speak up are not any less brave than the women who do. They're scared though, and we can't ignore that.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to an acquaintance. We aren't really friends but have (or had) a mutual "friend". This acquaintance is sixteen and pregnant, and I believe she is being brainwashed. That's a big claim, I know, but listen. Her boyfriend has cheated on her with three girls. THREE and that was all at the same time. He blatantly disrespects her, I've seen screenshots of the texts he sends her. But the thing that got me the most was the fact that she was scared of him. Of him yelling at her. Of him raising his hand and almost hitting her. Of him balling up his fists and almost throwing a punch.

I told her to get out, but she didn't listen. He loves her, or that's what he says. I'm not judging, I just hope she gets out from under his controlling grip before she or her baby are hurt.

I'd like to think I'd have the courage to leave a relationship like that. I just hope I'm never in a relationship like that. I hope I never feel so controlled that I'm literally scared of my husband or boyfriend every time he moves.

Some terrifying statistics provided by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten
• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide
• Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner
• Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior
• Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries
• The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%
• 1 in 4 men have been victims or some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within in their lifetime

This last statistic doesn't get talked about enough. Yes, women are most affected by domestic violence. And when I hear about domestic violence, I usually associate it with women, but men are also victims. Whether that be in heterosexual or homosexual relationships. Men are rape victims as well. We can't forget that, we need to advocate for everyone if we're ever going to eliminate or decrease domestic violence.

We need to stand together, or things will only get worse.

When looking up domestic violence hotline number on my phone, a scary warning popped up. It was a pop up that could block me from visiting the website because many abusers monitor computer and internet history. That's terrifying.

Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233

stay peaceful (and safe)!!

Brussels

It's been a couple weeks since the Brussels bombing. It's a tough subject to blog about. Bombing, that is. I don't know why they keep happening and I don't really know if my voice will make a difference, but maybe it can.

All I ask is why? Why do we feel the need to repeatedly bomb each other? To terrorize? I know the world will never be 100% peaceful. We won't always get along. I know there are politicians who are corrupt and politicians who don't get along. I know all of this. And I am still flabbergasted at how we can be so terrorizing.

These attacks were during rush hour, obviously planned to affect the most people at once. More than 30 people were left dead and 200 wounded.

In Brussels' Zeventem Airport, a suicide bomber struck around 8 am. The bomb collapsed ceilings and broke glass everywhere. People fled from the smoking building carrying whatever they could. Videos and photos are all over the internet. They show images that may be difficult to look at, I know I struggled.

The Maelbeek Station was also hit. This explosion caused chaos that was close to the European Union headquarters in the center of the city. Were these explosions sending a message to the European Union? Images from this explosion were difficult to look at as well, but what can you expect? When you're told of an explosion happening and terrorist attacks spread throughout Brussels you can't expect decent images.

After the attacks most of Belgium shut down. Children were ordered to stay in school. Transit systems were shut down, most tunnels were closed to traffic. Lock down was lifted eventually, but Belgium stayed under a level 4 threat, warning citizens and all people to be vigilant and pay attention. Be careful and safe.

France and Germany stepped up vigilance. Doing the best they can to keep their citizens safe.

I used to not be scared of terrorism. You know? I didn't think it would affect me, I thought I was safe, I thought because I live in America I was safe. I feel safer than people in Europe probably do. They're closer to the middle east and certain organizations. But we're slowly learning that oceans don't necessarily mean you're safe. Watching the news and seeing new terrorist attacks almost everyday doesn't do much to keep a person in the safe mentality.

I offer my condolences to all of the families affected by these horrible attacks. Even if it's two weeks late, I still care the same. We need to unite. To come together as a world, to fight against terrorism.

stay peaceful!!

Best Fake Smile

James Bay, or "Bae", whichever you prefer. He's my newfound love. Truly.

I listen to his deluxe album almost everyday. And all of the songs are truly beautiful, some make me cry and some make me have a mini-dance party on the way to school in the morning. One of my favorite songs of his is "Best Fake Smile".

No you don't have to wear your best fake smile
Don't have to stand there and burn inside

These lyrics are so good and straight to the point. If you're not happy, leave. If a situation makes you mad, upset, uncomfortable or sad, leave. Don't fake a smile and don't fake being happy for the sake of others, because they probably won't do the same things for you.

Don't burn inside, if you're hurting, let it out! Let it go and express your feelings, that's the only way you'll ever feel better, truly, let it out. Don't burn inside, be free outside.

And you don't have to care so don't pretend
Nobody needs a best fake friend

You don't have to care, and if you don't, don't act like you do! Don't be insincere for the sake of sparing someone's feelings because it'll only hurt them more in the end. Be real and don't feel bad for being real!

You don't need a best fake friend! You need sincere people, if you're not happy with a friendship or someone isn't being an ideal support for you, take some time and cut them out. Toxic people create toxic situations and those are never good.

This song is awesome, and I definitely recommend any other James Bay song because they are all so incredibly beautiful. If You Ever Want To Be In Love is my second favorite, just in case you wanted to know!

stay peaceful (and have a real smile, not a fake one)!!

He's a Lesson, and It's Good He's In The Past

Heart break is a thing, a very sucky thing, that we will all probably experience, unfortunately. It hurts, and you don't know why. You know it's because you liked this person, you really liked this person. You trusted them, and you thought that they'd never lie to you. But you were wrong.

This post is going to be personal. Because it's a thing that so many people go through. It may not be related to civil rights or social justice, but I think it deserves to be talked about. Coming from a situation that happened to me about two weeks ago, I have some unfortunate experience in the department of heartbreak.

My situation is difficult. I was naïve, I knew what I was getting into. I mean, what can you expect when the boy you're "talking" to tells you his "ex" girlfriend is pregnant? I know, I know. Don't judge me. I didn't know they were still dating, and get this, there was a third girl. He had a pregnant girlfriend, a "friends with benefits", and me, the girl he kept stringing along.

This is going to be rough, I'll be honest. I knew this kid for a long time, since middle school. We'd lost touch because we went to different high schools, but reconnected a couple of months ago. I thought he was still the same fun-loving blue-eyed boy I had a crush on in eighth grade. I was smitten.

But people change. The worst part of it all was realizing that it was all a lie. When he wasn't talking to you, he was talking to her. When he wasn't telling you he liked you, he was telling her he loves her. It was all a lie, and I was a fool for believing it.

We'd been talking for two months when he told me he loved me. I know, I thought the same thing. Too soon. He wouldn't even define the relationship, but that makes sense now that I know he was already in one. Two huge red flags.

I found out when his girlfriend messaged me on twitter after she read his messages. In 24 hours, he had told me he loved me and broken my heart. It's crazy how fast things change.

I haven't talked to him in three weeks, but I saw him three days ago, at a soccer tournament. And dangit, all of those feelings came back. I went home and cried, not a cute cry, an ugly one, a "gasping for air" cry because I didn't know how else to express my emotions.

This whole situation has been sucky, but it's shown me how many amazing people I have in my life. Shout out to my best friend, Claire. You helped me realize how lucky I am that I got out of that situation when I did. Thank you for watching me cry and telling me I'm worth more than anything he ever deserved.

Thank you to my mom. You are definitely the strongest woman I know, and through everything, you're helping me become a strong woman. You hold me when I cry and help pick up the pieces. You listen to my angry rants and add in a few choice words and opinions, and I love you to the moon and back.

Thank you to my co-workers. For offering to egg his car and break his windows, however entertaining these actions would have been, they wouldn't have done anything. Thank you for holding me when I cry and wiping my tears. Telling me I'm worth so much more.  Thanks for the hugs, I truly love you guys.

If you've been through this, or you're going through this or you're scared of it. Don't be. You're strong. You're worth more than he (or she) deserves. Focus on you. Heartbreak is rough and it sucks and all you want to do is sit in bed and watch The Notebook while crying. Do that for one day. Then, you have to get up off of your butt and focus on you. Go get what you want, focus on school or friends or making more friends. Don't dwell on that dumb boy.

I need to realize it's not my fault. I'm not the one who messed up, he did. He's a lesson to me, but to him, I'm a loss. I'm freaking awesome, and he didn't realize that. So I feel bad for him. He's going to be a father in less than five months and I'll be applying to colleges.

If you're hurting, I know what it's like, but you'll survive. And you'll eventually find someone you "zing" with, I just know it.

stay peaceful (and learn)!!

I'm NOT Being a Bitch Because of My Period

It's such a stereotype:
"Are you moody because of your period?"
"Oh.. Did you receive your monthly gift?"

Yes. Because obviously the only time a woman can be rationally upset about something is when she's menstruating. It's annoying. We can't belittle a woman's feelings and moods to a 5-7 day period of each month. This might sound like a feminist rant, but I really don't care. I'm a feminist, if you don't like that, that's okay.

I don't like being belittled to my ovulation cycle. I already have enough pressures as a young woman, society's eyes are always watching, I'm always being judged. By myself, my peers, teachers, family. It never stops. I'm not always going to be happy or chipper. I'm going to have days where I'm grouchy. I try not to take it out on other people, but it happens.

It's not just men and boys who feed into this stereotype. Girls themselves do it. We are told that our hormones are out of whack. We may be moody and irritable. If you are told something long enough and consistently, you'll eventually believe it. You can't hide your true emotions behind a tampon, it's true, we can be more irritable, but if you're truly upset about something, don't push it aside and blame your period.

Periods are real. It's not a hoax. Cramps are real too, believe it or not! It's not a conspiracy. So, if a woman in your life is having period pain and she's tired and seems a bit more irritable than normal, don't make fun of her. Don't joke about it. That'll only make her upset.

I'm not being bitchy because of my period, I'm being bitchy because you asked if I was being because of my period.

stay peaceful (and considerate)!!

Alexis Isabel

Alexis Isabel is a high school senior who lives in Florida. I don't know her personally, but last summer I found her twitter. One of my friends retweeted her tweet and I thought it was funny, so I did some internet stalking, you know, the usual. What I found was really interesting.

I had never really looked at feminism or thought that my voice mattered. I didn't have a clear understanding of issues that we were dealing with as a society, I wasn't educated. Sure, I knew how to find the circumference of a circle and I had just spent 180 days talking about photosynthesis in AP Bio, but I didn't know what was going on in the world, I wasn't "in the loop".

Alexis is a strong young woman with an immensely bright future ahead of herself. She's writing bills and regularly visits her state capital to advocate for rights and causes that benefit multiple groups of people who are underrepresented. She speaks up for the poor, for transgender individuals, gays, rape victims, people effected by mental health, and most of all women.

It's so inspiring to see someone so young, only one year older than me, with such a strong platform. She's able to speak to 79.9 thousand people each and everyday with 140 characters. I think I would've realized that I'm a strong feminist, but Lexi showed me sooner which is nice.

She's so strong. Being in the public eye, even if it's just over twitter has it's downs. She faces hate every day. She's called names and is judged for her beliefs. She's outspoken and a woman, two things that some men don't think can go hand in hand. Newsflash:  they can, and they do.

Alexis is more successful than the people who feel the need to internet troll her. She's working on passing a bill, she's been featured on MTV and she's empowering young women and men around the world.

I like Alexis because we share a lot of the same opinions and viewpoints on certain issues. She's also respectful, if she doesn't agree with someone or something, she's respectful about it. I think that shows a lot about who she is as a person. It's one thing to hold your own opinion, but to respect other people even if they don't agree with you is something we all need to work on, even me.

She has her own personal twitter account which you should follow (@lexi4prez). On this account she tweets about her life, social issues spanning from the presidential race to recent world terror attacks. She also has a second twitter account (@FeministCulture). Feminist Culture is her twitter account dedicated to all things feminism, statistics and links to her blog, which she keeps regularly updated with teen writers like herself.

Check her out, even if you're skeptical. She's a bad a$$ who has a huge future ahead of her and I'm so happy she's helped me get to where I am today. Check out her blog, Feminist Culture by clicking here!

stay peaceful (and vote lexi4prez)!!!

Kinder Kennedy

Today, March 24th, 2016, my school held an assembly. It was an assembly about kindness, which we could all use a little more of.

Two weeks ago we suffered a loss. A freshman girl took her own life. It struck the school like a lightning bolt. There were tears and hugs and an overwhelmingly large amount of support to our freshman class and upperclassmen who knew the student. I didn't personally know her, but I wish I had. From what I've heard and read she was compassionate, kind and had a smile that could light up any room. I wish I had known her because maybe then I could have helped prevented this tragic event.

You can't focus on the "what ifs" in life, they drag you down, you can't go back and change the past. But we get stuck on them, especially when something this tragic happens to someone so young with such a bright life ahead of them.

Suicide is tragic, it affects everyone. Yesterday was the two year anniversary of my stepbrother committing suicide. I knew Jacob, but we didn't see each other often. I was with my mom more and he was with his dad more, so our paths didn't cross much, but when they did I always had fun. I think what hurts the most is seeing how it affects their loved ones. How his mother, my stepmom dealt with the pain and how my half-sister, his half-sister as well dealt with the pain. You just want to hold them and tell them everything is going to be okay. You can't do that though, not when there are so many unanswered questions. So many, "why?"s  and "what could I have done?"s.

This all ties into "Kinder Kennedy" because the student who committed suicide was bullied. Bullying is such an ugly word. It's evil and always has a bad ring to it, even if you're talking about preventing it. That's why we should focus on being kind. We need to focus on the love and the good in the world and not let the evil and hate bring us down.

It's so much easier to love in this world and choose to be happy than it is to focus on the bad and make an effort to be angry.

"It is not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even- or rather, especially, when we'd prefer not to be." -Josh Radnor

I love this quote. It emphasizes the need to be just to be kind. Without any other motives or interests in mind. Be kind, be loving and be open-minded.

stay peaceful (and always be kind)!!